Compiled By Dr. Carr
Let the inhale be a drinking in of nourishment and support, let the exhale be a letting go of everything.
Quench your thirst for oxygen with gusto.
When breathing, savor each breath, and let pleasure be your guide
When all else fails - Breath!
Be proactive, not reactive
Face it, Embrace it, Erase it.
Let yourself go into your “cave” when needed.
What you resist persists
Taste and chew before you swallow.
distress + neglect + time = disease.
Don’t make an onion out of a pea: (A pebble on the end of your nose
looks like a boulder.)
Let the ‘ripples’ in the pond of your mind play themselves out so the pond begins to reflect clearly.
A cup is only useful when it’s empty”, let you mind begin to empty
as you relax so that it can be useful later.
Make space for space.
Drive with an extra car length in front of you.
Let a space open up between your thoughts.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing effortlessly.
The Native American works, rests, and enjoys; the modern man says “keep working”
If it’s not worth doing; it’s not worth doing well
Don’t kill and ant with an elephant
Many people take better care of their car than themselves.
Those who aren’t busy being born are busy dying.
It feels good to feel good.
If you don’t like what you are doing, do something different. (If it’s not clear what that is, try anything different.)
Some people can’t see the specs in their eyes because of the specs in their eyes.
If the shoe doesn't fit, don’t wear it.
To brace against pain and to shut it out, in the long run, makes it worse.
Don’t let pain become your identity and your credentials.
What do you gain from your pain? (be honest)
Sometimes we do to ourselves what we’d really like to do to others.
If our only tool is a hammer we may treat everything as if it were a nail. -- If our only tool is a pain killer we may treat everything as if it were a pain.
Running away from pain, or wallowing in pain are usually not your best options.
The more you can “process” physical or emotional pain, the less you have to defend against it.
The three basic lines of defense against pain are bodily, emotional, and mental.
Most mental disorders are simply ways of defending against pain.
Some of us need “ouch-training” (to learn to say ouch.)
Some people are so stuck in emergency mode that there are always so many emergencies they don’t have time to even think of getting out of it.
The people who need to get out of emergency mode the most have the least time to get out of it.
Don’t be an emergency - adrenaline junkie and create an emergency when there is none.
He who spends his life arousing the sympathetic branch of his nervous system and ignores his parasympathetic branch, only has half a life.
Some people live their life as if they’re being followed by predators.
When you allow your parasympathetic branch of your nervous system to become more you began to experience the other half of life.
The harder you try, the more you go into emergency mode.
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
Don’t go around starting fires and then expect medals for putting
A map is most useful if you are aware of where you are on it.
“Oughtistic” people “should” on themselves.
There are basically three basic kinds of “isms” “aboutism”, “shouldism”, and “is-ism”
Self-pushing and self-sabotage go hand in hand.
You “should” be aware of what you are doing.
He who tries to control everything, will end up being controlled.
It’s irresponsible to be over-responsible.
Actualized behavior is manipulative behavior done more creatively
No need to kick down an open door.
He who spends his life carefully calculating every step shall spend his life on one foot.
Find your balance between “alloplasty” (changing the outside) and “autoplasty” (changing the inside).
If you hang on like a bull dog with a clenched jaw, then you can neither chew something up or let it go.
There is great power in acknowledging where and when one has no power.
The voluntary springs from the involuntary
We can’t tolerate in other people what we won’t allow in ourselves.
If your perfectionistic, then dare to be average.
Depression is really “compression”.
Excitement minus oxygen (breathing) equals anxiety.
What you can feel you can heal.
He who morns well lives well.
Angry people are usually unassertive
There is almost always hurt underneath anger.
Clear thoughts and clear feelings go hand in hand
Let your disgust be discussed, it is the true misunderstood “emotion”.
Be aware of what’s toxic and nourishing for you.
Don’t get even, get mad.
Do you “gunny-sac” your feelings until the bag breaks?
Trust your own rhythm of contact and withdrawal.
Trust your “creative discontent”
Don’t pay attention with ‘a-tension’
Let your attention be attracted to where it’s needed
let your attention be patient, loving, accepting and non-intrusive.
Let your attention be less like a flashlight that your deliberately point and shine and more like looking up at the night sky and letting your eyes gradually adjust so that you can experience the faintest star”
Let go of any “grasping” with your attention.
Listen to your “squeaky wheels”.
What is the state of awareness when you are “brutally” honest with yourself? Honesty is a state of awareness.
Find your “center.” Be centered.
He who starts with a conclusion shall end with an illusion.
Do you suffer from “hardening of the categories”?
Resistance to a new idea varies directly with its importance.
Don’t be down on what your not up on.
Beware of dog-ma.
Do you always believe your own propaganda?
Humans are good at generating hypotheses but poor at testing them.
Are you trapped by an idea?
Try to distinguish between what you tell yourself and “what is”.
There are two types of intelligence that contribute to wisdom: knowing how to solve problems and knowing which problems to solve.
Are you always sharpening the knife but never cutting anything?
Let ideas spring from the “fertile void” or space within you.
Real truth has to be discovered in the present.
“Not knowing” can be a higher function than knowing.
The “simple” can often understand the “complex”, but the “complex”
often has difficulty understanding the “simple”. (On some cognitive
tasks gold fish can even do better than humans)
Get off the “why - because” merry go round.
Notice what you “wallpaper” your world with.
Many people think their looking out a window when their really looking into a mirror.
How many senses do you have?: Taste, smell, touch, sight,
hearing, gustatory, being, truth, balance, wholeness, pain, pleasure,
space, humor, time, clarity, self etc. etc.
There’s a difference between self-actualization and self-image actualization
There’s a big difference between who you are and what you identify with.
Behind every “good boy” or “good girl” is a spiteful brat.
Be good to yourself.
We are a body-emotion-mind.
Every cell in your body has millions of years of accumulated wisdom
Your body will make the decisions for you that you refuse to make.
(e.g. by getting sick and stopping you from doing what’s toxic for
NEEDS & WANTS:
You never get enough of what you really don’t want.
For some people it is truly more sacred to receive than to give.
Do you suffer from DD? (“disabled desire”)
Always consider your own needs, the other persons needs, and the
Distinguish between the “end gain” and the “means whereby”.
If you can’t say no, you can’t fully say yes.
If you don’t have the space to “not care”, you can’t fully care.
Be careful what you don’t wish for.
The opposite of life is not death but “anti-life”.
At times, surrender to the involuntary.
Make explicit what’s implicit.
A problem cannot be solved from the same consciousness that created
We have a choice of participating in mass craziness, or of taking
risks to become a healthy human be-ing.
Try substituting the word “won’t” for the word “can’t”.
Try changing “have chosen” to “am choosing”.
Words for tension: Grasping, squeezing, holding on, tensing, holding, freezing, stabilizing a posture, rigidifying, compressing, clenching, crushing, choking, tightening, biting. grabbing. bracing. paralyzing, petrifying.
Words and phrases for relaxation: Letting go, unwinding, loosening,
going limp, surrendering to gravity, accepting support, smoothing
out muscles, inviting relaxation, untying knots, feeling your weight,
melt into effortlessness, getting very comfortable, allowing spontaneous
release, going deeper and deeper into relaxation.
DEFENSES & DISTORTIONS:
Making a rainbow into black and white.
Engaging in “anti-life” behavior.
In biofeedback, you are “learning how to fish” vs. “being given a fish”.
Biofeedback should be done in an atmosphere of trust, warmth, fun, exploration and discovery.
Expectations of performance just get in the way”
Consider doing biofeedback with no expectations or “creative indifference.”
In biofeedback, we teach “respons-ibility” - the ability to respond
When doing biofeedback think of yourself as your body’s humble servant.
Let your body be the teacher while you become the student.
Begin biofeedback and relaxation as if you had 100 years to do it
Trust your own learning curve
Think of yourself as having a tool belt in which you will be inserting many different tools for stress management as you learn them.
The best way to “chill out” is to warm your hands.
Think of biofeedback as learning how to allow your own bodies natural
abilities to heal to come forward, rather than imposing some external
When sitting, become more like Raggedy Ann and less like Gumby.
The people who don’t have time to relax lose much more time by being sick missing work and going to MD’s and hospitals.
Think of relaxation as a way of saving time instead of losing time.